NEWS AND REVIEWS

cLICK HERE TO READ THE USA TODAY BOOK REVIEW

The book to help you go out in style

by Lynn LaFoe

When Gayden Metcalfe and her good friend Charlotte Hays decided to write a book about Southern funerals exactly sure how a publisher would react. As it turned out, they had nothing to fear. The two Greenville natives simply went to the publishing company in New York City to pitch their idea and let their southern charm take over. ³When we went to Miramax to meet with three vice presidents, we didn¹t even have a rough draft,² Gayden recalls. But as soon as the two writers launched into some of their hilarious stories and observations about the traditions connected with funerals in the South, speaking, of course with heavy Southern accents, the big shots were ready to sign them up. The result, ³Being Dead Is No Excuse; The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral² is a charmingly witty and humorous book that tells you everything you need to know, and much, much more. The book will debut in Greenville on March 16 and McCormick Book Inn will host a signing that afternoon from 4:30 until 6. After that the two authors will embark on a signing tour throughout the Southeast.

The latest published authors from the Delta combined their knowledge and experiences from growing up in Greenville into an entertaining book that contains some sound advice along with tales so funny they have to be true. The original title was ³Being Dead is No Excuse for Store-Bought Mayonnaise,² but the publishers saw fit to shorten it. ³I had had the idea for ages and when Charlotte mentioned it to a friend of hers in the publishing business, she thought it was a great idea. Nothing had really been written about death,² Gayden said. ³And it¹s something we¹re all going to do.² Both Gayden, the ³inveterate hostess and Southern Belle² and wife of Harley Metcalfe III, and Charlotte, a ³recovering gossip columnist² who lives in Washington D.C., have attended their share of funerals. ³Not everybody is lucky enough to die like someone from the Delta. We die well,² Gayden says with a twinkle in her eye. ³You know what they say about location.² According to the book, the first thing a Southern Lady does when someone in her family dies is polish the silver. ³I¹d be hard-pressed to tell you how many of our friends and their mothers have greeted the sad news of a death in the family by going straight to the silver chest and starting to polish everything inside,² Gayden says. ³Maybe it has something to do with an atavistic memory of defending our silver from the Yankees, but it does ensure that the silver will be sparkling, which is nice for a funeral reception.² And, of course, there¹s plenty of information about food are all about food. As soon as word hits the street that someone has died, ovens all over town are being turned on.

The book includes practical advice such as a list of everything you must keep in your Eternal Pantry in order to be funeral-ready at a moment¹s notice. There are also recipes for some of the essential funeral foods northerner asked the question, ³What is aspic?² and Gayden told them it¹s congealed Bloody Mary without the alcohol.) Her mother attended many funerals when Gayden was growing up, and often she¹d take little Gayden along with her, thus the learning began early. ³Time has passed, but the food hasn¹t changed that much and what we do at funerals is unchanged,² she said. The experiences paid off in later life when Gayden became a member of the Pastoral Care Committee at St. James¹ Episcopal Church (the food committee for funerals). She and the other members have worked together so long, they know exactly what dish the others will bring. ³We always take the same thing,² she said. Although most of her information comes from an Episcopalian perspective, Gayden also managed to infiltrate First United Methodist Church and she shares some of their recipes and traditions too. Knowing the importance of funerals, Gayden and Charlotte felt it was time there was a book on the subject. ³There are so many books on weddings and, if you think about it, you have to plan all the same things. People have months to plan a wedding, but with a funeral there are only a few days. We only have one chance to do it right,² said Gayden. ³Being Dead is No Excuse² is the guidebook we¹ve never had. There are lists of dos and don¹ts concerning food, flowers and music for funerals. The Delta Funeral Hit Parade covers songs that are ³Banned at St. James¹, Canned at the Funeral Home² as well as those ³For the Well-Bred Dead Person.² The absolutely worst songs can be found under ³Being Dead Doesn¹t Mean You Have Good Taste.² And worst of all, ³The Battle Hymn of the Republic² is labeled ³Ne-vuh Again!² The book has gotten a good review (and a star) from Publishers Weekly which pleases the novice authors to death, so to speak. And they have received the ultimate compliment for a Greenville writer saying how much he enjoyed the book!

Whether you are planning a funeral or not, this book is a great read. You¹ll love the recipes and all the tips on hosting a great funeral reception. You can get a signed copy at McCormick Book Inn in Greenville and meet Gayden and Charlotte on March 16 as they introduce their new book to the Delta, and the world. The book is also available online at amazon.com.